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Tips For Managing Your Anger

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It can be extremely frustrating for you to have problems controlling your temper. You know that it can be scary for those around you but you just can't keep your emotions from rising and causing you to do things that you will regret. Here are some tips for managing your anger so that it doesn't get the better of you.

1. Wait

When you feel angry, put as much time as you can between the emotion and the actions that stem directly from that emotion. You can do this in a variety of ways. Some people find that taking a deep breath, counting to ten, and then letting the breath out helps. Other people find that actions that produce a somewhat intense, physical feeling, such as a cold bucket of water on their head or squeezing a frozen orange, can help. Other people find that asking themselves questions about everything they do or narrating their life helps. You have to do what works for you in order to put some time between when you feel angry and when you react to that anger. This will allow you to check to see if your desired reaction, such as throwing a chair, is actually in proportion to whatever caused the anger. Give yourself some breathing room to make that judgment.

2. Be Clear About Your Needs

One major reason why you might get angry is because you feel your needs are not being met. You might allow this feeling to build up inside of you until you can't take it anymore and explode in rage. This could be a huge problem. You want to do little things to keep your anger from building up. If you feel that you are being taken advantage of, confront that person directly and tell him or her that you don't want to do what they ask anymore. If you feel like people are cutting you out of things, tell them that you've noticed that they've been cutting you out and get an explanation. By getting your needs met along the way and by being clear about them through confrontation when you are calm, you will be able to avoid exploding with anger.

3. Figure Out What You're Really Angry About

Finally, figure out what you're really angry about when you explode about small things. If you explode because your coworker forgot his pencil again and you had to lend it to him, you might be exploding because you feel that he has taken advantage of you in your job and is doing less work than you. Wait until you are calm and then address the problem head on.

For more information, consider checking out the anger management group at Mind Matters Clinic.